Confession

Every year… On my birthday I think about my biological mother. I always always always think about her and she makes me just hate myself. It doesn’t happen on other holidays and I never think about her through out the rest of the year. But on August 21st she just appears out of no where and god damn it I just…. I hate her and I hate myself and it’s just filled with mixed emotions. I don’t know her or a lot about her…. And I just think she’s a coward. Now that I’m gonna be 20… And I’ve been a mom for over a year… I just.. I can’t stand her.. I think I hate her less because I have more important things to worry about but… On this day… Every year… But I love my parents and I don’t look at them as anyone else but on this day… I just for some reason can’t help but remind myself..